Summer is officially over in the Northern Hemisphere. For many, that means going back to school or work. But for others, it means something much bigger: starting an MBA, beginning university, joining a new company, moving to a new city, or even moving to a completely new country.

I’ve done the “start fresh somewhere else” thing several times, and I know how exciting (and difficult) it can be. We tend to romanticize moving abroad: a new city, new culture, new food, new opportunities. What we talk about less is what happens when the excitement wears off and you realize that your entire support system is thousands of miles away.

So, if you’re starting somewhere new (or know someone who is), this one is for you. And please share it with someone starting fresh. Here’s a small playbook for intentionally building a support system instead of waiting for one to magically appear.

Tip of the Week: Don't wait until you need a support system to build one. Identify the relationships you need, put yourself in environments where you can find them, and create recurring systems to maintain them.

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The Theory Behind

Belonging is a basic human need, and moving removes many of the systems that previously provided it. Maslow placed love and belonging in his hierarchy of needs before esteem and self-actualization. Friends, family, community, and relationships provide a foundation from which we grow. The problem is that when we move, many of these disappear overnight. The friends you casually saw every weekend, family dinners, familiar colleagues, even knowing your neighbors... all suddenly require effort. The new job or MBA might look amazing on LinkedIn, while simultaneously feeling surprisingly lonely in real life.

Social support works best when it comes from different places. Social Support Theory states that one person shouldn’t have to fulfill every role in our lives. We need people who understand what we’re going through, people who can support us emotionally, and people who connect us to our new environment. This becomes particularly important when moving abroad because our existing network may still provide emotional support, but it cannot always help us navigate the practical realities of our new life. Building a network isn't just about making more friends, it’s actually more about creating different types of support.

Cultural Intelligence (CQ) helps us turn a new location into a community. Cultural intelligence is our ability to understand and adapt effectively across cultures. Moving somewhere new requires more than learning the language, we need curiosity about how relationships work there. How do colleagues socialize? What do locals do on weekends? What sports do they play? Instead of staying exclusively inside an expat bubble, we can intentionally create opportunities to participate in local life. Join a sports league, take pottery classes, learn to dance, volunteer, or simply become a regular somewhere. Understanding a culture is much easier when we participate in it.

What I’ve Learned

I think you need three types of support when starting somewhere new. First, someone who recently went through what you're going through (a colleague, mentor, classmate, or alumnus) who can help you navigate the path ahead. Second, someone who provides emotional support (a family member, best friend, partner, therapist, or counselor). They don’t even need to live nearby. And third, you need local connections, people who help you understand and participate in the place you now call home. One person might cover multiple roles, but I'd make sure all three needs are covered.

You shouldn't rely on spontaneity to maintain relationships. Throughout my time at Amazon, I forced myself to meet at least one new person every month. I would literally cold-contact someone I didn't know and put time on the calendar. It felt artificial sometimes, but it became one of the most beneficial habits for my career. The same applies outside work. If you tell yourself, “I should call my friend sometime,” life will get in the way. If there’s a recurring calendar reminder every Sunday, you’ve created a system. Relationships may be human, but there’s nothing wrong with using technology to make sure we actually maintain them.

Make It Happen

1. Audit what you already have. Write down who currently provides professional/practical support, emotional support, and local connection. Don't assume, actually write the names.

2. Identify your gaps. If one category is empty, make filling it a priority. You don't necessarily need ten new friends; you may need one meaningful relationship.

3. Find someone one step ahead. Look for someone who recently completed the transition you're making: a second-year MBA student, someone who moved to your city last year, or a colleague who recently joined your company.

4. Protect your emotional anchor. Create a recurring call with family or friends back home (or seek professional support if that's what you need). Don't leave these conversations to “whenever we have time.”

5. Join something local. Basketball at the YMCA. Pottery. Dancing. Running. Volunteering. Whatever works for you. The activity matters less than repeatedly showing up somewhere with the same people.

6. Put relationships on the calendar. Create recurring reminders for calls, coffees, community activities, or meeting someone new. Your system should continue working even when life gets busy.

7. Review your system monthly. Ask yourself: Who am I learning from? Who can I be vulnerable with? Am I actually becoming part of my local community? If one answer is missing, you know where to invest next.

Moving somewhere new gives us an incredible opportunity to reinvent ourselves. But starting fresh doesn't have to mean starting alone.

And if you know someone who just moved away for school, an MBA, a new job, or a new adventure, send this to them. Maybe becoming part of their support system starts with simply letting them know you're thinking about them.

Supportively yours,

Jorge Luis Pando

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