A few years ago I adopted a practice that is proving to be very effective (no pun intended). Every Friday, I ask myself: "What did I run from this week?". What did I say I wanted to do, but somehow didn’t do? Maybe it was a difficult conversation, going to the gym, making an uncomfortable phone call, or finally starting that project that has been sitting on my list for weeks.

There’s a phrase I’ve heard in different forms that I really like: “The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.” I’m not sure who originally said it (the internet seems equally confused), but the idea resonates with me. Often, we know exactly what we should be doing. The problem is that we don’t feel like doing it. So this week, let’s build a system for doing things even when we don’t feel like doing them.

Tip of the Week: At the end of every week, ask yourself: “What am I avoiding?” Then make starting that task easier, make avoiding it harder, and give yourself something immediate to look forward to.

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The Theory Behind

We are wired to choose now over later. Behavioral economics calls this present bias: we tend to overweight immediate rewards and costs compared with future ones. Exercising is uncomfortable now; being healthier happens later. Writing the presentation is painful now; the career benefit comes later. Scrolling Instagram feels good now; regretting the wasted hour happens later. This creates an unfair fight between our present and future selves (and present us has home-field advantage).

Make the first step almost ridiculously small. One way to overcome that resistance is the Five-Minute Rule: commit to doing the thing for only five minutes. Don’t tell yourself you’re going to exercise for an hour; put on your shoes and walk for five minutes. Don’t finish the presentation; open PowerPoint and create the first slide. This lowers what psychologists sometimes call activation energy, the effort required to get a behavior started. Once we begin, continuing often feels much easier than beginning.

Don’t wait for motivation to create action... use action to create motivation. This idea appears in behavioral activation, an approach used in psychology that emphasizes engaging in useful or meaningful activities rather than waiting until we feel motivated to do them. I think this applies well beyond therapy: sometimes we need to stop negotiating with ourselves. Motivation can follow action. Starting creates momentum, momentum makes continuing easier, and suddenly the thing we avoided for three weeks gets done in 45 minutes. [Side note: There's a TikTok account I like that is just a person timing how long does it actually take to do things we keep pushing...trying to make a point here]

What I’ve Learned

I’ve learned to bribe myself (and I’m completely fine with it). If my brain prefers immediate gratification, why fight it? Instead, I try to attach something immediately enjoyable to something that is good for my future self. If I need to sit down and do something uncomfortable, I might go somewhere nice, buy myself a fancy coffee, order something I like, or create some other small pleasure around the task. Basically, I try to sweeten the moment. I later learned this is called temptation bundling, it means combining something you should do with something you want to do.

Make It Happen

1. Ask the question every week. During your weekly review, ask: “What did I run from this week?” Don’t judge yourself. Just identify the one or two things you repeatedly avoided.

2. Understand why you’re avoiding it. Is it boring? Uncomfortable? Ambiguous? Difficult? Are you afraid of the outcome? Naming the resistance helps you design around it.

3. Shrink the starting line. Apply the Five-Minute Rule. Define an action so small that refusing to do it becomes almost ridiculous: open the document, write one paragraph, put on your running shoes, send the first message.

4. Put it on your calendar. “I’ll do it sometime” is not a system. Give the avoided task a specific time and place. When that time comes, your goal is simply to start (not to feel motivated).

5. Sweeten the moment. Add an immediate reward. Get the fancy coffee. Work from your favorite café. Listen to your favorite podcast while exercising. Save a show you love for folding laundry. Make the uncomfortable thing slightly more enjoyable.

Today I don´t feel like doing anything,

Jorge Luis Pando

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