Effectively Forty

This week I celebrated my 40th birthday, so I'm continuing what now is a birthday tradition. Last year, I shared 18 reflections on personal growth (check it out here). That one captured the themes that defined 2024 for me: building long-term structure, setting a 10-year vision, and focusing deeply on family, finances, and clarity of purpose.

This year looked very different. In 2025, I focused on enjoyment and introspection. I left the corporate world for a year. I tested what it’s like to work full-time on something I love. I traveled. I tried therapy and coaching for the first time. I moved back to Peru with my wife and kids. I slowed down, while still building toward something that I wanted.

This edition breaks the usual structure of The Effective Week (I’m giving myself full permission to do so, sorry!). Birthdays invite reflection, so while this post is longer than usual, I promise it’s packed with learnings. True to my style, each lesson ends with a clear call to action. If something resonates, take a note, try it out, reply back with your thoughts, or share it with someone who might need it.

On Leaving the Corporate World

1. Doing what you love full-time can make it feel like... a job. I’d always heard that turning your passion into your job can strip the joy out of it. Now I’ve lived it. I love coaching, writing, speaking; but, when I had to rely on it financially, it felt different. Not worse, just different. The pressure of turning something meaningful into something profitable shifted the relationship. The lesson? Try your dreams for real, but understand they may stop feeling like dreams once they come with deadlines and invoices. Call to action: Ask yourself: Do you want your passion to be your job, your hobby, or your vocation

2. The most fulfilling part was bringing others with me. Maslow’s hierarchy doesn’t end at self-actualization, it ends at self-transcendence. And that only happens when you use your growth to lift others. Whether through coaching, mentoring, parenting, or simply sharing knowledge, I felt the deepest meaning this year in contributing to others’ growth. Call to action: What’s one area of your life where you can bring someone else along for the ride?

3. Minimize regret (but also risk). I daydreamed for years about writing in public, coaching, building something of my own. I finally did it, and I’m grateful I didn’t just “quit and go” on impulse. I tested it, saved for it, gave myself a time-boxed year, and always treated it as a two-way door. This is a version of Jeff Bezos’ “regret minimization framework,” and it works. Call to action: What’s something you’d regret not trying by the time you’re 80? Take one small, low-risk step toward it this week.

On Family and Moving

4. If you want it in others, model it yourself. I used to think I had to tell my kids what to do. Turns out, I just had to show them. If I want them to read, I need to read. If I want a team that innovates, I need to join the hackathons. If I want a great partner, I need to be one. Call to action: Where are you expecting others to do something you haven’t modeled yourself? Walk the talk.

5. It truly does take a village. My wife and I both held demanding jobs (we were both L7s at Amazon at one point) while raising two kids...without family nearby and without outsourcing much. It was possible, but barely. I thought that we might be missing out on something so I actively sought mentorship from so-called #powercouples and came to the conclusion that not a single one does it all alone. They either have family close or robust support systems (to a degree that I also wasn't personally comfortable with). Call to action: If you aim for both dual careers and healthy family dynamics, seek help, you will probably need it, and please don't feel bad about it. Also, if you know someone doing both home and career without a village behind - introduce us. I haven’t met them yet.

6. Talk about money before you get serious. When you get to my age, you start seeing many people get divorced. A common theme I see is how little they talked about money when they were a couple. Who owns what, who manages what, who lends money, how you invest, how you spend - these things need full transparency. I’ve lost count of the horror stories I’ve heard, no wonder it is the number 1 reason for divorce in America. Call to action: If you’re married or getting there, schedule a money conversation this week...no judgments, just full visibility.

7. The last 10% takes 50% of the effort. After eight moves across four cities in 11 years, I’ve learned this: unpacking the final boxes takes as long as the first 90%. This is also true in work. That last polish, that last percent of “perfect,” can cost disproportionate time. Bezos used to say: better to get two things to 70% than one thing to 100%. Call to action: What are you over-perfecting right now? Where can 70% be enough?

On Developing Emotional Strength

8. Just say it out loud. I started therapy and coaching this year. Both helped immensely. But the biggest unlock came from something simple: saying things out loud. Thoughts feel complex in your head; they get clearer when spoken or written. Whether it’s journaling, venting, or using Chat GPT like a therapist, externalizing your thoughts is powerful. (I do recommend investing in a good therapist though, don’t get me wrong! But if you aren’t planning on doing so, these can help too). Call to action: Take five minutes today to speak or write out something that’s weighing on you. Just get it out.

9. “Thick skin” can become emotional armor. Early in my career, I asked top leaders what it took to be a CEO. Almost all said the same thing: develop thick skin. So I did. I learned to detach, stay calm, and never take things personally. It worked... until it didn’t. In recent years, I lost things that mattered deeply at work (programs get deprecated, had to fire people). But I’d grown so “resilient” that I didn’t let myself feel anything about them. I had to unlearn the thick skin to reconnect with what was real, to learn that feeling is what makes us human and we should actually focus on building a stronger core, not just a thicker skin. Call to action: What emotion have you been pushing down lately? Allow yourself to feel it fully.

10. Our greatest strengths hide our deepest flaws. I once heard that your superpower often has a dark side right next to it. My productivity mindset has helped me achieve a lot. But it’s also made me unable to relax. My thick skin helped me lead, but also blocked connection. Call to action: Take a moment to name one of your strengths and ask, “what’s the cost of this?” There's potentially a big roadblock ahead that will derive directly from your biggest strength, be prepared.

On Working Solo

11. Accountability is everything when no one’s watching. Without a boss, staff meeting, or team checking in, I realized how little got done if I didn’t create my own pressure. Accountability groups saved me. Whether it was posting online, building something, or just staying on track, I got more done when others were in it with me. Call to action: Choose one goal and find someone to hold you accountable for it this month.

12. Train your brain with soundtracks. I built playlists for writing, deep work, workouts, even email. Like Pavlov’s dog, music cues mood. Now, when I hear my writing playlist, I don’t scroll, I write. Call to action: Create one playlist today that helps you snap into a zone you want to visit more often.

13. Pair long-term rewards with short-term pleasure. Planning your week doesn’t feel amazing in the moment, but sipping good coffee while doing it makes it better. I learned that if I want to do something that doesn't give me immediate gratification (the gym, planning my week, eating healthy), I have to link it to small present wins (a treat, a nice coffee, a TikTok break). We have to acknowledge that our brains are wired from hundreds of thousands of years of prioritizing instant gratification. Call to action: What’s one future-focused habit you can make more fun with a reward right now?

14. Delegate only after you’ve done it yourself. Delegation is one of the most underdeveloped skills I see in both entrepreneurs and corporate professionals (now I can say it, because I've tried both :)). I don’t mean that we need to just let go of things. We need to understand them, struggle with themand get a feel for the task first. Only then can you delegate it effectively. As The E-Myth Revisited says: “You can’t build a business that works unless you understand the work.” [Side note, this books get the award for "The best book ever, with the worst title ever...check it out]. Call to action: You are either delegating too early or too late, which one describes you?

On Perpetual Growth

15. Real growth dips before it climbs. The “Valley of Despair” hits after you start something new. At first, you’re optimistic. Then, you realize how little you know. It feels like regression, but it’s actually growth. You’re turning unknown unknowns into known unknowns, and that hurts, but it's all part of the growth journey...embrace it. Call to action: Where are you discouraged right now? Consider that you may be right on track.

16. You were the product all along. Write a vision doc for yourself. In 2024, I wrote a 10-year plan, then broke it down into a 3-year roadmap. That roadmap led us to move back to Peru, travel intentionally, and live with clarity. I used all the tools I once used to launch products at Amazon - this time on myself. I have also coached people on this as a prototype of what launching this to the public might look like and so have have a 100% satisfaction rate. Call to action: Try writing your own “life innovation doc.” Long-term vision, short-term roadmap, values, timing, and tradeoffs. If you want help, reach out by replying to this email - I can definitely help you out!

17. Do hard things! (but not just for the badge). For most of my career, I chose what was hardest (P&G marketing, Product Management Technical, managing large teams) - because I believed hard things mattered more. I mean, that's the advice that LinkedIn is flooded with, right?. And yes, hard things pay better. But doing them just for the status or the paycheck is a trap. I came to the realization that doing the hard things need to have a reason behind, doing them for just the sake of proving you can do them (or getting wealthier) is all just vanity. In this new decade I'm starting, I want to focus on what feels right, not just what looks impressive. Call to action: What are you doing right now because it’s hard...not because it’s meaningful? It may be time to let it go.

What’s Coming Next: If you read this far, we are officially friends. Just hit reply with your comments and what resonated most. I have realized most of my years have themes. 2023/24 was about long-term clarity. 2024/25 was about experimentation, change, and slowing down. 2025/26 will be about reconnecting - with friendships, my health, and spirituality.

I want to rebuild stronger relationships (after years of moving). I want to raise good men. I want to grow in education as a sector and a career path. And I want to keep learning how to grow, without burning out or breaking away from what matters most.

I appreciate your time, cheers to another year!

Jorge Luis Pando

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